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Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:17 PM

Post #635

Re: #634: @Ben Dover - Most lipstick contains fish scales.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Over 75% of people who read that just tried to lick their elbow.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:16 PM

Post #634

Re: #633: @Ben Dover - A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:16 PM

Post #633

Re: #632: @Ben Dover - If the government has no knowledge of aliens,

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:16 PM

Post #632

Re: #631: @Ben Dover - More than 50% of the people in the

If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:15 PM

Post #631

Re: #630: @Ben Dover - If it's true that we are here to

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:14 PM

Post #630

Re: #629: @Ben Dover - If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:14 PM

Post #629

Re: #628: @Ben Dover - What hair color do they put on the

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:13 PM

Post #628

Re: #627: @Ben Dover - He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:13 PM

Post #627

Re: #626: @Ben Dover - Why is the man who invests all your

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:13 PM

Post #626

Re: #625: @Ben Dover - If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:13 PM

Post #625

Re: #624: @Ben Dover - Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans ?

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:12 PM

Post #624

Re: #623: @Ben Dover - When trouble arises and things look bad, there

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:11 PM

Post #623

Re: #622: @Ben Dover - No matter what happens, somebody will find a

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:11 PM

Post #622

Re: #621: @Ben Dover - The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:10 PM

Post #621

Re: #620: @Ben Dover - People who want to share their religious views

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:10 PM

Post #620

Re: #619: @Ben Dover - If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:09 PM

Post #619

Re: #618: @Ben Dover - If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:09 PM

Post #618

Re: #617: @Ben Dover - AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.

If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:09 PM

Post #617

Re: #616: @Ben Dover - Leftists are the first to speak of their rights.

AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:08 PM

Post #616

Re: #615: @Ben Dover - A procrastinator's work is never done.

Leftists are the first to speak of their rights.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:08 PM

Post #615

Re: #614: @Ben Dover - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is

A procrastinator's work is never done.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:08 PM

Post #614

Re: #613: @Ben Dover - A clean desk is a sign of a

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:07 PM

Post #613

Re: #612: @Ben Dover - Q. What person, not a "Seinfeld" regular cast

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:06 PM

Post #612

Re: #611: @Ben Dover - Q. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they

Q. What person, not a "Seinfeld" regular cast member, is featured on every episode of "Seinfeld"?

A. Superman, either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:06 PM

Post #611

Re: #610: @Ben Dover - Q. 40% of all people who come to

Q. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they never do what?
A. Wear underwear.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:06 PM

Post #610

Re: #609: @Ben Dover - Q. What day are more collect calls made

Q. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home do this?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:05 PM

Post #609

Re: #608: @Ben Dover - Q. What stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing

Q. What day are more collect calls made on than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:05 PM

Post #608

Re: #607: @Ben Dover - Q. Married men revealed that they do what

Q. What stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation? Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
A. A kiss.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:05 PM

Post #607

Re: #606: @Ben Dover - Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes,

Q. Married men revealed that they do what twice as often as single men?
A. Change their underwear.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:04 PM

Post #606

Re: #605: @Ben Dover - Q. If you were to spell out numbers,

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:04 PM

Post #605

Re: #604: @Ben Dover - Q. In a recent survey, what did Americans

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:04 PM

Post #604

Re: #603: @Ben Dover - Q. What do 100% of all lottery winners do?

Q. In a recent survey, what did Americans reveal was their favorite smell?
A. Banana

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:04 PM

Post #603

Re: #602: @Ben Dover - Q. What do more women do in the

Q. What do 100% of all lottery winners do?
A. Gain weight.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:03 PM

Post #602

Re: #601: @Ben Dover - Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What

Q. What do more women do in the bathroom than men?
A. Wash their hands. Women 80% - Men 55%

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:03 PM

Post #601

Re: #600: @Ben Dover - Q. Half of all Americans live within 50

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:03 PM

Post #600

Re: #599: @Ben Dover - Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS, from

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace. This is called propinquity.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:03 PM

Post #599

Re: #598: @Ben Dover - Q. Only 14% of Americans say they've done

Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS, from every other TV show?
A. No theme song/music.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:02 PM

Post #598

Re: #597: @Ben Dover - Q. What occurs more often in December than

Q. Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex. What is it?
A. Skinny dipping

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:02 PM

Post #597

Re: #596: @Ben Dover - Exact estimate

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:00 PM

Post #596

Re: #595: @Ben Dover - Clearly misunderstood

Exact estimate

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:00 PM

Post #595

Re: #594: @Ben Dover - Clearly misunderstood

Clearly misunderstood

Ben Dover

01/02/04 7:00 PM

Post #594

Re: #593: @Ben Dover - Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Ben Dover

01/02/04 6:59 PM

Post #593

Re: #592: @Ben Dover - Good grief

Taped live

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:28 PM

Post #592

Re: #591: @Ben Dover - Genuine imitation

Good grief

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:28 PM

Post #591

Re: #590: @Ben Dover - Found missing

Genuine imitation

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:28 PM

Post #590

Re: #589: @Ben Dover - Act naturally

Found missing

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:28 PM

Post #589

Re: #588: @Ben Dover - Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Act naturally

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:27 PM

Post #588

Re: #587: @Ben Dover - When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:27 PM

Post #587

Re: #586: @Ben Dover - Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Ben Dover

12/31/03 5:26 PM

Post #586

Re: #585: @Ben Dover - Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

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Created	03/05/01	Type	Premium
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Posts (Total)	636
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