Sulja Bros. Building Supplies, Ltd (SLJB): Islamic Jihad submarine slammed two torp...

Sulja Bros. Building Supplies, Ltd (SLJB)

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Thursday, 08/03/2006 12:47:26 PM

Thursday, August 03, 2006 12:47:26 PM

Islamic Jihad submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. We was comin' back, from the island of UAE, just delivered the bomb. The hype bomb. Eleven hundred American investors went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad shark...

http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20060801/capt.443e078e954040a382bae04463e3caf5.iran_nuclear_ny120...

Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the rag on the head to the heel of the sandals. Well, we didn't know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret and off the main stock exchanges, no distress signal had been sent to Homeland Security. Uh huh. They didn't even list us as shorted for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like `ol squares in battle like you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark would go for nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya in the wallet and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the stock chart turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a million dollars to the Hizbollah! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many pikers got taken, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. His life savings gone. Now on the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Homeland Security official saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat SEC boss comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a Hamas uniform again. So, eleven hundred penny stock investors went in the water, three hundred and sixteen come out, the sharks took the rest. Anyway, we delivered the hype bomb.